How many times do hear an Instructor blaming his students because ‘no one got what he was trying teach’, yet it never occurs to him that if no one got it, maybe it was his teaching?
Blaming his family, Chief Instructor, Association, Facility Provider or Governing Body for his lack of progression?
How many times do hear a student blaming his family, Instructor, other students and work commitments on his failure to achieve?
It’s easy to blame everyone and everything else other than yourself for your failures.
The most important moment in any martial artist’s life is the moment that he or she takes responsibility for their own actions, training and progression.
You have to decide what you want out of life, you have to determine what is possible, you have to accept that which cannot be changed and work with what can, stop lying to yourself and others, stop making excuses and start being honest and doing something positive about your life.
It takes guts to be honest with yourself and others. You need to talk to all the people that you feel are holding you back and discuss in an honest, open and reasonable manner to effect positive change. I know many men who are terrified of their wives and always have to ‘ask the boss’ if they can do this and that, yet knowing their wives I know that if they actually learned to communicate with them instead of cowering, they’d getter a far better response.
It’s the same with students attitude towards Instructors, ask questions, challenge teachings, do it politely so that both of you can grow as a result of your feedback. If your Instructor doesn’t like it, leave because you’ll never grow under that kind of instruction.
Work to a daily training plan put together by you and your instructor, chart your progression, sort out difficulties together, learn emotional intelligence and teamwork, that’s how you grow. Instructors write lesson plans, invite feedback from the students, give them feedback and adjust your plans accordingly.
Do your training first. Attend the right classes to progress. Attend seminars that will improve your skill level and understanding. The ‘showbiz’ seminars of photo opportunities, T shirts, DVD’s and handshakes are okay IF you’ve done all the important work.
In the Martial Arts everything is based around your skill level. It’s easy to teach crap and fool people for a while, but in the end they will see through you, also the potentially good students will see through you from the start. Like attracts like. Troubled people attract troubled people, ‘quick fix’ people cannot keep anything going and will leave. I often see a club of Instructor and clones in a bad way and sometimes in a good way.
Remember that politeness and manners are a given – but respect is earned both ways.
My advice is find a good Instructor and system and train thoroughly in it at a deep level, that way you become a ‘proper’ martial artist as opposed to someone who trains in the martial arts. It’s important to effect your own growth. Be honest with yourself and those around you in all environments.
The Buddha said that to progress you need:
Buddha (the one that ‘knows’)
Dharma (to follow the path of truth)
Sangha (surround yourself with like minded people)